Your Silver Mistress

Silver, from the Wife’s Perspective

If you’re anything like us, your wife isn’t too happy about your mistress right about now.  No, we’re not talking about your secretary, heck, its not even internet porn.  We’re talking about your shiny gray mistress, silver. 
Your wife’s known about her for the last 10 years, but she’s tolerated your mistress most of the time.
Ever since around last September though, silver has received MUCH more of your attention than the wife has.  In between clicking refresh on kitco every 3 seconds, 23.5 hours a day, you’ve been devouring the web in search of any and everything silver related.

Ted Butler. Zerohedge. Rob Kirby. Jim Willie, James Turk. Eric Sprott, Jim Sinclair. Your wife has no clue who any of these people are, and yet she hates them all  (Especially Zerohedge and Jim Willie- you click refresh on zerohedge every 5 minutes of your waking life, and whenever Jim Willie’s latest is out you disappear for the next 2 hours).  Heck, she practically hates silver at this point- “what good is it if that crap hits $1 Million/oz, he never lets me spend an ounce of it anyways!”

Silver, From Your Perspective

Of course you love your wife, but silver’s just had more sex appeal over the past 8 months.  It doesn’t help that she never walks around the house naked in the winter like she does in the summer months, which always gets her some immediate attention (something about it being too freaking cold in the house because you have the heat set on 63 to save $$ so you can buy more silver).

If you’re anything like us, your wife’s jealousy has been growing lately right about at the same pace silver has. Ironically, its now nearing a parabolic ascent, just like your mistress silver.

When was the last time you took the wife out for a nice dinner on the town guys? “Um….her birthday was in late February, I took her out then.”  Your wife doesn’t count that.  Trust us. Special attention on her birthday is expected, if you can’t pull yourself away from your mistress on the wife’s birthday you’ll be left with your mistress faster than a JP Morgue silver default.
So besides her birthday, when’s the last time you took her out?  “Uh……we went to game 5 of the ALCS in Oct: Rangers/ Yanks.   Ok, this is more serious than we thought.

She hasn’t received any attention all week, you’ve been on a 120 hour 5 night stand with your mistress.  Sunday you’ll be hanging out with the in-laws for the holiday: not much chance you’ll be in a romantic mood after that.

Take the wife out to dinner tonight guys…the markets are closed, you’re not going to miss anything, and you can spare an ounce!
Its still early, go tell her to start getting ready now, and take her to her favorite restaurant.
Skip dessert, ask for the check, head back home and bang her.  Not on the bed like normal, pretend she’s your mistress! Put her on the kitchen counter and go to work! Heck, don’t even use protection, knock her up!  You can afford a kid now, your mistress has finally matured!
Don’t turn your laptop right back on when you finish like normal- that’ll lose the effect and waste your whole effort.
Give her a back rub for 30 minutes, and then go back at it. 

Things are about to really heat up with your mistress guys.  Time for some preventative maintenance with the wife.  You don’t want to ONLY be left with your mistress when this whole thing is over.
Enjoy your evening.  Let us know how it goes.
Oh, and the Doc practices what he preaches!